West and I

She stands in front of an audience. West doesn’t care what she says in front of a room filled with people, only because they aren’t her own words. She can get angry if that’s what the script says to be and she will jump up and down as many times as she is asked. Her new name is Sunny and when Joe calls the name Sunny, she responds just like it is her own. I have to worry about what I say, when I say it, and I have to hesitate before I speak, but West speaks through somebody else. She worries about verbs and beats and subtext of her artificial words. Her goal is to memorize somebody else’s feelings and words. Every movement of her foot, hand, and head is planned for months before it is done. West only needs me when she wants to be more real. She tries to take from my personal experiences and emotions and turn them into fakes to make them fit another mind. I never know when West will become me, when I will start to act when I am trying to be myself. She can slip into my brain when I am telling a lie or trying to impress. West is me when I want something I cannot have.