“What makes me visible is that I have figured out how NOT to talk”

     The placement of “not” in this sentence is imperative to the meaning. How NOT to talk differs from how to NOT talk. The latter implies that one has learned the art of silence, while the former refers to knowing how TO talk or knowing the right thing to say. By knowing how NOT to talk you are almost visibly invisible. You may be able to gain access to a particular group of people by learning the language they speak and speaking it and knowing how not to talk depending on your environment; however, that just makes you all the more similar to them. One may be visible in that group. Visible, as in accepted. On the other hand, now that they have conformed by figuring out how NOT to talk they have almost forfeited their visibility. They take on a new visibility in the group and in turn they almost blend in which would seem more like invisibility, no? Another angle is the idea of becoming visible through more than just verbalizing-or in this case, the lack there of. Visibility comes from how you carry yourself, what you wear, how you act, and even from what you DON’T say. Sometimes, people rely too much on blatancy and loudness to become visible and often times that can lead to ostracism. This is a complex matter and I am getting more confused with every sentence I write so... the end.