That scheme, the only one I have left. The one that will let me out of my own tedious existence. It starts with an idea, one of hopefulness, where I can do and be what I want, live how I want to, and do it all at my own pace. I guess it starts with separation, or forgiveness, frankly I forget. I move on from where I am; it does not matter where I am going, in fact, there is a good chance I’ll end up in the same place as where I am. Its not so much a physical move as much as a mental transformation. I will not begin until I am ready but there is nothing that will slow me down once I start. Its a movement of control; taking temporary, or permanent, control of my life so I will be able to find out if I am in fact living. And when it is once again time to change I will give my last little piece of control to move myself to the point where I let my course of action take over again. I’ll set myself up to be able to be carried the way I want through my life.
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