Blue Yodel No. 9

THE BLACKNESS OF MY BLACKNESS

I imagine my blackness to be the part of me that is the most terrible, that trait that no one wants to encounter but is always there. Most of all, it obscures people’s perceptions of me, except I cannot say for myself what it is. That is up to you. When you look at me, what is the thing about me that you most despise? Is it the darkness of my hair, the complexion of my skin, or the unpronouncibility of my name? Or is it something more than just skin deep that you resent me for, like the fact that you can never have me? Either way, it is something that is always there, and if you want me by your side it is something you have to learn to deal with—and something I have to learn to control. I still don’t know what “blackness” means…