Meg Gegler and I
English 11
9/2/10
The taxi fare was only 11 dollars; at M and I’s final destination, I looked into my wallet to see Hamilton and Washington staring back at my hungry eyes. “Not enough” I thought to myself as I looked around frantically for a person willing to spare M and I some change, because of course, we carried not more, but the same exact amount. I saw someone, with a Domino’s pizza slice in one hand, a wallet in the other. He knew what I was going to ask him, and he nicely paid the rest of our fare. I lied. I actually did have enough money to pay for the fare, but then that would mean that all of my food money would be inexistent; the money that I saved up from my long working hours to just have an hour or two to enjoy myself in only the greatest food establishment in Boston, Massachusetts: Fanuiel Hall. Walking a couple of blocks up the street, I could hear my stomach screaming like an earthquake in the middle of a lullaby. I needed food as soon as possible, it didn’t matter what it was. M looked completely normal to everyone else passing by on the sunny Friday night, but I was clearly sweating my craving for cupcake frosting. I have always loved food, Thai, sushi, anything exotic. M, however, could not cook to save her life. Not many people understand M, some hate her, but are unwilling to look into her. I, on the other hand, adore M, even though she insists on scrambling just one egg; this is the reason why we get along so well. Similar, yet so different; another reason why we get along so well, and the reason why I invited her to join me on my excursion of food. But I do not know which one of us wrote this.
hi everyone :)
ReplyDeleteThe detail you put in the story was great.
ReplyDeleteI love how detailed it is ! Good Job!
ReplyDeleteI love, love, love this line
ReplyDeleteI could hear my stomach screaming like an earthquake in the middle of a lullaby.
You put together two opposite things: the craziness of an earthquake, the quiet of the lullaby. That's why it's such a powerful line.
I really liked how you switched back and forth from M and I. Great job!
ReplyDeleteI liked the use of real life locations to bring the reader into the setting of the story.
ReplyDeleteGood work Meg :P
ReplyDeleteI liked your simile; "I could hear my stomach screaming like an earthquake in the middle of a lullaby" really creative.
I really how your two voices/people flow with each each other.
ReplyDeleteI liked the Detail
ReplyDeleteSO GOOD!. Great quality writing. I liked how descriptive it was, it made me really imagine the scenery and surroundings. It was so good, you made me look bad. :)
ReplyDeleteI liked how you went back and forth between M and I. Kept me interested!
ReplyDeletewow very good job i especially like your word choice and use of similes > "I could hear my stomach screaming like an earthquake in the middle of a lullaby"
ReplyDelete"I could hear my stomach screaming like an earthquake in the middle of a lullaby." I really like that line. It gives a great visual to the story.
ReplyDeleteI liked how you kind of tricked the reader--or at least me. I was completely carried along with the idea that you didn't have enough money to pay your fare until you said you were just saving your money for food.
ReplyDelete