Laubenstein and I

Laubenstein and I

I love to play music in front of people but Laubenstein hates it when he even sees a guitar. Laubenstein sulks when he hears live music especially when I am playing. If I were to start to play a song, Laubenstein would stop me from hitting a chord or singing the first note because somebody walks into the room. The way he makes me feel utterly disgusted with my talent is surprising to say the least. One would think that I would be proud of the talent that I posses, but when Laubenstein realizes that it is not just me in the room playing music, he makes me want to quiet down to where the song is at an unrecognizable volume. However hard I try to play a show, Laubenstein will find a way to waltz in and wreck the sound.

Laubenstein likes much more simple things like staying in at night with a friend and watching television. I try to encourage him but he breaks me down and makes me selfconcious of how I like to express myself. If I do manage to slip by his reach, he soon gains ground on me and stops my music. It kills my self esteem and starts to deteriorate my mind. Sometimes I think to myself that Laubenstein has control over me like nobody else does. Almost like he is part of me. He wants me to do something more useful with my life. "There is no money in music" He says boldly. Well that's not what matters to me. He doesn't realize that if I work towards my goal, I will someday get that big paycheck.

Maybe someday I will best Laubenstein and convince him that the audience does not matter.